singing to the moon
by saddestangel15
Summary: I am a worldwide known singer. I caused the death ofmy mother and brother. I restarted my career after the love of my life left me. Now i am racing time to save alife that matters more than my own. All belongs to stephanie meyer. I suck at summaries.
1. prologue

**Singing for the Moon**

I never thought such pain and sadness could exist. It has been six months and three days from my birthday. Six months since **he** the love of my life had left me alone, broken, crying on the forest floor. Of course I didn't let him see me like that I waited for him to leave first. I got back on my career, made new friends. It looked like I was happy, that I wasn't suffering but the truth was I was dying everyday from the inside I didn't feel like living anymore. But I continued to live for my parents the ones I considered real parents to me. A lot happened my mother never died. And now I was racing time to save a life that meant a lot more than mine, a life that people would miss and cry over and my time is almost over I couldn't even think of the outcome if I didn't make it on time. Please excuse me i forgot to introduce my self my name is Mia Isabella Marie Swan and I am 18 years old. I moved from phoenix to Forks to live with my father. I had a family that didn't love me and then i had a family that used me as their entertainment. My ex is a vampire and one of my best friends is a werewolve i never thought Forks would be so excitinng.


	2. Happy birthday NOT

**Singing for the Moon**

I woke with a start. I awoke with a reminder of why I hate my birthday. I wish my dream could come true. It was the most beautiful dream I ever had including the ones about Edward. It was of me but my mom was alive along with my brother. We were celebrating my birthday and my dad loved me and was happy. We were talking and laughing, then it started to fade and fade and I woke to the sound of my alarm clock. I sat there on my bed remembering how I only caused death and destruction all my life. I truly am what my love calls me a danger magnet. Tears were falling out of my eyes remembering my last semi happy birthday three years ago.

**(Flashback)**

"Estas son las mananitas que cantaba el Rey David a las muchahas bonitas te las canto a Bella despierta mira que ya amanecio ya los pajaritos cantan la Luna ya se metio. Que linda esta la manana en la que vengo a salodarte. Despierta que ya amanecio. Happy birthday my beautiful Bella. Come on little sis wake up." My brother Juan Angel woke me by singing. "Okay I am up I wonder what would I ever do without you caring about me."

He smiled wide the smile that told me he was happy. All that day we went shopping then we went to go get something to eat. My father never celebrated with me he never gave me a smile and he never told he loved me. I had convinced my brother to go to a three days grace concert with me. Once we left he gave me the same wide smile from this morning. I never thought that would be the last time I saw his smile. "Little sis did you have fun this year?" I smiled back at him. "Of course I always make me have fun on my birthday even when there is no reason for us to be happy and it is my fault."I finished in a small whisper. "Don't talk like that you know it was not your fault and if Juan Miguel ever heard you speak like that he would agree with me that you are talking nonsense." He said in a such sad but angry voice at once. "You know it is true if I hadn't been born mom would still be alive. Dad would spend more time at home with you and Juan Miguel would be home instead of a stupid boarding school in Europe you and I both know it so there is no point in lying to yourself."I argued back. He turned to look at me. "You know it is not true why do you beli…" I cut him off before he could finish. "**Angel look at the road stop the car now!!!!" **A drunk driver ran the stop lights and crashed in to us. When I woke up I was in the hospital and it had been a month since the accident. My father as glaring at me with such hatred it brought tears to my eyes. I had to break the silence. "Hi" I said with a small weak smile that only infuriated him even more. He told me the worst thing anyone would want to hear. "You should be the one dead. You shouldn't even have been born. Tell me now are you happy? Are you happy with causing your own mother's death? Are you proud of yourself for killing the only person that loved you your own brother? **You are the only one at fault you killed them both you should be dead. We would have been so happy without you. You are not my daughter and you never will be!!!" **I couldn't stop the tears that flowed. I could not even imagine a worse pain and sadness that I felt at that moment. My father hated me but even worse my brother as dead I had killed him the same day I had killed my very own mother. I am a monster. My brother Juan Angel died at the age of 19.

**(End of flashback)**

I still remember it like yesterday. I spent only an hour crying before I realized I was going to be late for school event though all I wanted was to stay home and cry until I could cry no more I knew I had to go to school and wait until Edward went hunting to cry. I would never want Edward to see me like that and if I stayed Alice would tell him to come and check on me as she would have seen me in a vision so I would have to wait. I got ready for school and brushing my teeth and dressing in a black long sleeve shirt and a black denim miniskirt. I wanted to wear black pants but I didn't want make Alice even angrier with my outfit I was just not in the mood to argue with her. I decided to wear black flats that went along with the outfit perfectly not that I really cared. i have to make edward believe the reason i hate my birthday is becauuse of aging but i will tell him soon. Happy Birthday to me !! Not


	3. decisions made for the best

**Let's get the party started**

Bella's p.o.v

On my way to school I couldn't help but think what would the life of the ones I love would have been like if I had never been born. My mother would still be alive the same as my brother and my father would be happy and Juan Miguel would be home living like a true happy family. But no I ruined all of it and in truth I don't blame my father for hating me for I hate myself.. Then there is Edward and all of the other Cullen's I call my second family (well my third really). They wouldn't suffer being near me especially Edward since my blood calls for him the most. I have always wonder how the Greek god could love me, it still is really hard for me to think it is real and that I wouldn't wake any moment from this beautiful dream of his love.

Alice interrupted my thoughts by tapping on my window. I hadn't even realized I had arrived and parked. **"HAPPY 18 BIRTHDAY **BELLA!!" of course nobody besides my family and the Cullen's know of my birthday**. "Shh Alice keep it down."** I seriously wanted no one else to know of it. It was not a day to celebrate like others on their birthday**. "Fine Fine whatever you say, by the way I love the choice of clothing."**

We had made our way to where Edward was waiting for us. **"Good morning my** **love."** Of course being me I blushed red as a tomato which only made him chuckle and flash me my favorite crooked smile that leaves me speechless. **"Good morning to** **you to."** His eyes this morning were a rich light gold meaning his thirst was under control. **"So let me get this straight I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday nor** **give you gifts correct?"** I hate it when he gives me gifts against my own will; it throws us out of balance even more than what we already were. **"Yes you are** **correct."** He frowned at me I know exactly what he is thinking. It is always the same thought he has every time he brings up my birthday. Edward always thinks I hate my birthday because I am getting old. Technically I am already a year older than him but that is not the main reason why I detest this day of all days. Though I admit it is part of the reason but only a small part. The rest is still unknown to him and it will be until I am ready to let him know without having problems saying the names of my real family. **"You know anybody else would be happy on their birthday and with receiving gifts at their party that best friends and loved ones throw for them."** God I wish he would just drop the subject already. "**Yes but I am not like other people and you should be happy I don't make you waste money like any other girlfriend would. Well almost any other." **That made him frown even more. I hate making him sad, knowing he could use the guilt trip to let him give me a gift without me refusing of it.

"**Speaking of gifts…"** Oh no Alice better have not gone against my wish. **"Would you like it now or at the party we are having for** **you?"** I can't believe she did that, well coming from Alice. Yeah I can actually believe she did something like that. HA!! I have to work today. In your face! **"Sorry Alice I have to work today and no I am not accepting your gift."** What does this pixie have on her mind? She shouldn't be still smiling.

"**Don't worry Bella. I already called Mrs. Newtown and she changed your schedule so instead of working today, you will work tomorrow. Oh yeah she said to tell you happy birthday."** Ugh why does she always have to get her way when it comes to me? **"I'm sorry Alice I still have homework to do and I have to watch Romeo and Juliet for** **class."** She looked like she was getting annoyed with my excuses. **"Listen Bella we could either do this the easy way or the hard way. Your choice but I'm warning you the hard way is not going to be pretty."** I turned to Edward for help and of course he being my shiny knight in armor complied. **"Alice if Bella wants to watch a movie then let her. It is her birthday anyways."** Yup that's my love defending me. God I love him. **"So there Alice I won't be showing up** **to your birthday." **I know it was immature but I stuck my tongue out at her. **"So I will have her there lets say around six so she can get her homework done and watch the movie. Plus that would give you more time to prepare."** I can not believe Edward he was suppose to support me in my decision not betray me like that. Ugh so much for my knight. "**Yay!! I will see you guys at lunch. Oh and Bella I guess I could wait to give you my gift at the party tonight love you bye!"** Stupid boyfriend and evil, pixie sister of his. Once she left I turned to glare at Edward. **"What did I do?"** he couldn't stop a chuckle come from him. Why don't people understand that today is not a day to celebrate? I couldn't be mad at him; he didn't know my true reasons.

"**Nothing, Come on lets get to class before we are late."** I sighed. He looked intensely into my eyed and frowned. Great now what did I do? **"Bella what's wrong? Why were you crying?" **Of course he noticed. If I were to cur my hair, even a small fraction of an inch he would have noticed. **" Nothing is wrong. Come on lets go."** I wasn't telling the truth exactly, but right now wasn't the time to talk about it. Maybe after the party even though I don't want to go I rather celebrate than to talk about my problems. All traces of worry were gone. He looked angry. **" It's about you aging isn't it?" **Yea he was angry. He actually looked like a real vampire. I was too scared to say anything. Unfortunately he took my silence as a yes to his question. **"Bella why are you like this? You are human, you have a soul and you will age, but I will love you even when you are as old as your mom or your grandmother. Listen I will love you till the day you die. Is immortality more important than my love?" **I couldn't stop the tears from falling. Did seriously mean that he wouldn't love me anymore if I became a vampire? How could he honestly believe that I was shallow to only care about never aging? **"Oh shit, no Bella don't cry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry" **He tried to lean in for a kiss but, I moved away from him. **"Bella please forgive me. I swear I didn't mean those words. Don't be mad" **he looked like if he could cry he would be right now. **"Edward we need to talk but not" **hedidn't let me finish. **"No, Bella please I swear I didn't mean what I said. Please give me another chance." **I couldn't help but laugh. He actually thought I was going to break-up with him. **"Why are you laughing?" **he looked so helpless. **"I'm sorry, it's just I can't believe you thought I was going to break-up with you." **His eyes lit up with happiness and joy. **"Oh um sorry about that but, what was I suppose to think? I mean you wouldn't give me a kiss and then you said we needed to talk. And your eyes showed annoyance, anger and sadness." **I gave him a small smile. **"Its okay I guess." **He laughed. **"So what did we need to talk about?" **my smile disappeared but he had to know. **"The reason why I hate my birthday is not because I am aging, this goes back to the day I was born and only strengthened 3 years ago, but right now is not the time to talk about that." **I looked directly into his eyes so he would know I was telling the truth. His eyes filled with worry with a little of happiness and with guilt mixed with sadness. **"Bella god I'm so sorry. Please tell me what it is. It had to be something bad to make you hate your own birthday." **He was practically begging me to tell him but right wasn't the right moment I wasn't ready. **"Edward right now is not the time or place, but I will tell you after the party. I think Thursday since I don't have to work?" **Edward hesitated for a minute before nodding in approval. **"Come on let's get to class before we're late."**

**Edward p. o. v**

Today was bella's birthday. She had demanded that we would not give her gifts or even congratulate her. I hated that all I wanted to do was spoil her to let her know how much I loved her. I wish she would enjoy her birthday instead of dreading it only because she was growing older. It was as if she cared more about living forever young and beautiful instead of my love for her. Today she looked beautiful although I wasn't much of a fan of her wearing black today of all days. I accidently slipped accusing her of caring more about immortality than my love, she started crying and when I tried to give her a kiss she pulled away from me. Then she said we needed to talk and the emotions in her eyes didn't show love I thought she was going to break up with me. After she laughed I got even more scared but them she told me I had nothing to worry about. I silently prayed whatever gods were watching me to never allow me to make a mistake like that again. I couldn't even comprehend the amount of guilt worry and sadness I felt when she told she hated her birthday for another reason that started from a long time ago. I knew it had to be something horrible to make her hate her b-day. I begged her to tell me but all she said was that it wasn't the time nor place but would talk to me on Thursday. This day is going to be so long. Why can't I just read her mind? It would be so much easier.


	4. author note

hey guys sorry i havent updated

but i do plan on continuing with my story its just that i am on vacation in mexico and i havent brought my computer

once i get home ill update promise

i appreciate the reviews i have recieved thank you


	5. GIFTING RULES

dISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN THE TWILIGHT SERIES NOR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS

The school day passed fairly quickly. Thankfully Edward had forgotten of our little chat in the morning. We were now driving to my house, since Alice took Edward's volvo, he drove with me

in my burgandy Charger. Hmm. My Charger was my favorite of the five cars I owned, not that Edward knew i owned that many. I still feel bad for not telling Edward my life story, but i just couldn't stand it if he hated me in the end.

No words were spoken on the drive, but i did feel his eyes on me all the time. I will never understand what he sees in me. Edward was already at my door even before i finished parking

the car in the said chivary was dead, was completly we made our way to the house I tripped over the mat. Thankfully, Edward caught me before i hit the ground, chuckling at my clumsiness while I furiously blushed as i mumbled my thanks. Once we made it to the room, Edward sprawled onto the black leather couch leaving no room to sit. I ignored the

momentarily hurt at the thought of him not wanting me to sit next to him, as i finished putting "Romeo and Juliet." I made my way to the couch next to him, but before I could sit I was

lifted and dragged back to the couch Edward was on. I gave him a questioning look seeing that I was now laying right next to him, pratically laying on his chest. Although his stone hard

chest was not as comfortable as cushions, it was way more preferable. "Please lay with me Bella. I want to hold you...and i prefer to watch your expressions rather than the movie." he

had a slight pout on his perfect lips. I couldn't possibly say no to that. "Okay fine, all you had to do was ask." I leaned up and gave him a quick peck on the lips, and then i turned to

watch the movie. "Hey Bella, are you going to cry at the end?" it sounded like he was smiling. I bet he was going to enjoy watching me cry over some movie."Yes, if I pat attention to it." there was no point in lying about that, he would probably smell my tears anyway.

I had a hard time concentrating on the movie since Edward kept kissing the back of my and running his nose and hands through my hair. It wasn't until Edward started to to whisper

Romeo's lines in my ears, perfectly timed to when Romeo said them. Of course by the end of the movie I was crying, death was always a hard thing for me to deal with since i already

caused the death of two loved ones. It was silent till Edward spoke almost ina nonchalent tone. "You know, i have always been jealous of Romeo." I tried very hard to keep from

laughing. what could Edward be jealous of Romeo for? "What are you jealous of?" i was really curious. "I definetly don't envy him for the girl, since I am holding the most beautiful girl who

ever exsisted in my arms." I snorted at that. I was only plain, there was nothing special about me. He ignored my reaction and continued. "Well you humans have it easy to comit

suicide,just by drinking a poison or shooting yourself, and there problem solved." I tensed at his words. I never feared death personally, but i didn't like to talk about. I remained silent,

hoping he would drop the subject even though i was very curious. "You're really quiet today Bella, is something wrong?" "it's don't you tell me what meant about suicide instead?" Guess

curiosity always kills the cat. "You know I was subconsciously making my death plans if we hadn't been in time to save you from james." I felt my jaw drop. He had never mentioned it

before."I knew my brothers wouldn't help, so I was going to go to the Volturi." I continued to look at his face still in shock to say the least. "Wait what are the Volturi?" he sighed. "The

Volturi are the rulers of our kind. They make the rules and eliminate the ones that threaten to expose them,but don't worry that was in the past. It is a moot point." I hadn't realized I had

started crying until he gently wiped them away and then licked his fingers, savoring there taste. "Edward how could you think like that? Imagine the pain it would have brought to your

family! You aren't to think like that ever again, do you understand?" I was furious,how could he think like that?!? "Isabella,I wouldn't have been able to exist without family would have

been can't expect me to live without you. Besides as I said it is a moot point." I could tell he was serious, but even being already dead I wouldn't another death to be caused by me.

"Edward you have to promise me that no matter what happens to me, you will never think about killing yourself. You wouldn't want me to thinking like that if the roles were reversed, now

would you?" "Okay, I see your point,like I said it is a moot point but if it makes you feel better, I promise to never think like that again." "Good." I gave him another quick peck on the lips sealing his promise.

"So Bella are you sure you don't want anything for your birthday? I'll give you whatever you want." Ha! I could totally use this to my advantage, of course I would need the help Alice.

Think of the devil and it shall respond. I got a text from Alice probably about something in the near future.***Oh Bella you are such a genius, you have my total ! poor Edward!!!"***

Yes!!!!!!!!! He's going to agree "Let me guess,Alice sent you a text, what did it say?" "Doesn't matter right now." He looked so well, he is just going to have to wait and see. "So if I ask

you for anything, will you give it to me?" he looked disappointed, ugh! Why did he always have think about changing me?He was about torespond but I stopped him. "Don't worry,it is not

about changing me. I wish you would stop making your own conclusions!" "Sorry I promise I will stop that okay, so what is it that you want? A new car?" his eyes immediately lit up at his

suggestion. Yea right, like I needed a new car. "No, I don't need a new car. Besides my gift from you is not bought." Ugh! There he goes again,he looked so mad. "Bella I already told you

that I'm not changing you!" " Edward if I may remind you,I told you my gift had nothing to do with me becoming a vampire. Ugh! I thought you said you were going to stop with that!"

"Sorry!! Its just that I can't give you anything as a gift if I don't buy it." He looked sad and apologetic. "that's not true, you could give me many things without buying them." " No Isabella! I will not make love to you!! How can you ask that of me?Don't you understand I could crush you?!?" he was getting me mad. "Edward. Sut the fuck up! Up please" he looked like a

vampire again. He was about to speak but I stopped him yet again. "Edward I am pretty sure you are breaking your promise of not drawing conclusions again. And honestly its making me

really mad. You won't even let me tell you what I wanted." He again looked apologetic and confused. "Edward I am not asking you to make love to me. Do you understand?" "Oh um…I

apologize for the fourth time today, but what could I get you if I don't buy it?" I gave him a small smile and made my way to sit next to him again, since I had gotten up when he got me

mad. "Edward there are many things like taking us to your meadow" his eyes once agai lit up brighter than before, "Its our meadow love, if you want to go all you needed to do was ask."

I gave a small chuckle in response. "I know, I just had to ask you but you are not letting me finish." "Oh continue then." "Thanks, well you could also give me a few hand picked flowers, they would mean more than a money bought gift." "You know love?, you should have said that in the beginning instead of saying no gifts." He gave me a small frown that quickly turned

into a smile. "I guess it is mmy turn to apologize, but another great gift would have been to play your piano for me or by saving me from aone of Alice's shooping trips and makeovers. I

prefer handmade gifts got it?" Yea, thanks. I thought you did't want gifts cause another reason, but does that include Christmas and Valentine's Day?" I don't even want to know what he

had planned. "Yes Edward that rule goes for any gift giving day." "Fine, but as long as I can give you something then I guess it is okay with me." "Works for me. I'm not going to tell you

what I want today until later, but I promise it is nothing terrible." I gave him another quick kiss to seal it. I wonder if he ever noticed. "Okay Charlie will be here about five minuetes." We

immediately sat up and turned the tv on. All past conversations forggotten for the moment

SoRRY IT TOOK ME FOR EVER TO UPDATE BUT I VVE BEEN VERY BUSY TELL E IF I SHOULD STOPP WEITING


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